Back to the Basics

First and foremost, I want to apologize to all of you for my lack of blogging over the past umm… three months.  As most of you know, summer quickly came, and left even quicker.  I must say, however, that I enjoyed my summer immensely and really enjoyed spending time with my friends all across the country.

This blog originally started as a project for my Social Media class here at the University of Tennessee.  I am happy to say that I have successfully completed that class and am not required to blog about specific issues weekly, but am going to make an effort to blog at least once a week.  I also wanted to announce that this blog will not be primarily based on public relations issues and social media, but it will be more about what I know about leadership.  Essentially, I want to get back to the basics.

To give you a little update on where I am in my life, I am currently in my last year as Graduate Assistant in the ALEC department at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville.  My primary focus is leadership and communications where I am have a blast learning more and more about the great subject of leadership and how it can be used in so many different ways.  For my non-departmental classes, I am taking all sport management classes which I am hopeful will help me be more prepared for a future job working with the leadership and public relations side of athletics.  While I am not taking classes myself, I have had the privilege to teach a couple of classes and am enjoying the challenge of teaching students who are only a couple of years younger than me.  This is a challenge that I am thrilled to have as I think they teach me about myself just as much as I am supposed to teach them about leadership.

Well, you can count on this blog being the first of many for the Fall of 2011.  Time to get “back to the basics.”

Living life to the Fulmer,

Allison

Sometimes Alone Is A Good Thing

Being alone is something that a lot of people try to avoid at all costs.  Why??… probably because when you are alone you are not distracted by other people and/or things, which ultimately leaves you with nothing to think about but yourself. 

I cannot tell you how many people who I know who cannot stand to be alone, and between you and me… I used to be one of them.  You see, most of us have been groomed to act like everything is going great in our personal lives. News flash, nobody’s life is perfect.  We (yes all of us) are continuously tempted with all different forms of sin, and as human beings we all give in at one time or another.  I am also aware that society has put this “perfect” image of what a normal family or relationship should be like.  Well, news flash again, there is no such thing as normal and nothing is perfect.  It is known fact that we do not choose our family and sometimes we just have to deal with things one day at a time.  Much the same, relationship are not perfect and we all need to be willing to work at them.. as long as the relationship is still healthy and something you both want.

I know, I know.. get to the point, right?!!? Well, the reason I think being alone is a good thing is because it allows you to reflect and gather your thoughts on what is going on in your life.  If this is the exact reason you are avoiding being alone… all I have to say is at some point you are going to have to deal with yourself.  Chances are the more you push yourself in the background, the older you will be when you have a meltdown.  Yes, I said meltdown, and I promise it will happen.

I challenge you all to take some time for yourself each week.  Have some quiet time and think, pray, talk to yourself, make plans, set goals, cry, laugh or do whatever it is that helps you gather your thoughts.  If you do not like where you are in life then do something about it.  Nothing is life is free and hard work pays off.  Going after your dreams can be scary, but how else can you get there if you do not go for it… everyday. Nobody every got anywhere by waiting for things to come to them.

More importantly, recognize that it is OK to take time to be alone and in some cases it is necessary.  However, please remember that God is always with you and is always listening. 

Get to know and love yourself.  Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made and praise yourself for the great things you have done.  Remember, if you don’t love and know who you are how is anybody else going to?

Living life to the Fulmer,

Allison

Privilege and Oppression Go Hand-in Hand

 The poem I am about to read is not about gender or race;

It is about my struggle with social privilege and oppression, and in this world trying to find a place

 

My Dad is one of the most successful coaches in college football history;

Because I am a part of him, I too have received praises for his victories

 

My childhood and adolescent years have been anything but normal;

I have met many important and successful people that have caused me to have to act very formal

 

It is no secret that many doors have been opened for me through no virtues of my own;

I have been socially categorized by his successes and through privilege I have grown

 

“What can I get for you, your family is amazing, you are always welcome here,” are things that people would say to me;

I now know that I had an invisible package of unearned assets, which Peggy McIntosh helped me see

 

Privilege is definitely not focused on in my family, so please don’t get me wrong;

I have been blessed to have been taught that faith, family and humility are the most important and through adversity we must always press on.

 

For a little over 30 years my Dad was a part of the University of Tennessee;

I was told that Rocky Top was always supposed to feel home sweet home to me

 

It is true that all good things must come to an end;

And four years ago, at Tennessee, it was a time for a new trend

 

How can you love something so much that can be gone is a flash;

I felt that people said good-bye to my dad like they could a piece of trash

 

Dad was no longer able to be the Head Football Coach and was told that his time here was done;

The hardest part was saying good-bye to my brothers which to Dad were his sons

 

 

All of a sudden all of his hard work, dedication and the love for the game were not enough;

It is true you find out who your friends are when the going gets tough

 

We were no longer socially popular when a new head coach got here;

I felt alone and that I no longer belonged, I even shed some tears

 

People told me not to take it personal that football is a business now;

But to the Fulmer’s and our coaching staff, the team was our family and to say good-bye I didn’t want to know how

 

I cannot ignore that through my Dad’s victories I have learned many life lessons;

However, because of his success and failures I have also felt different types of oppression

 

I have grown up an athlete and always tried to be known for my own name;

When I got to UT people would say she is Coach Fulmer’s daughter, that’s the only reason why she came

 

As a female athlete, I constantly feel discredited because my Dad’s success;

Why don’t people understand that I am credible because I was able to learn from the best?

 

Powerlessness and cultural imperialism are two types of oppression that I can recognize;

I find myself defined from outside sources and placed in a category based on wins and losses, which I hope is not my demise.

 

Here I am standing before you still trying to find out where I fit in;

As a woman in sports I want to focus on where I am going, but people still focus on where I’ve been

 

I encourage all of you to think before you act catty

People are human beings and in this case, he was my daddy

 

So I have told my story and now my voice and rest;

Remember those who have privilege can also be oppressed

 

 

Written by: Allison Fulmer

Six Foundational Principles of Leadership

When I tell people who I am primarily studying leadership in my master’s program I am constantly getting asked how I can study leadership and what am I going to do with it.  The simple answer to this question is that leadership can be applied to anything.  There are many factors studied in leadership such as: personality styles, understanding different paradigms, how to effectively communicate with people, how to interact with people, etc.  All of these examples can be used anywhere people are working together, therefore leadership can be used in just about anything.

I am currently teaching and reading the book, “Exploring Leadership: For College Students Who Want to Make a Difference.” I recommend this book to anyone who has an interest in leadership and wants to start learning from square one what leadership is.

In my master’s program I have learned that there are 6 foundational principles of leadership.  These principles are:

1.) Leadership is a concern of all of us.  As individuals we are obligated to contribute effectively to our in the world community

2.) Leadership is viewed and valued differently by various disciplines and cultures.

 

3.) Leadership must be practiced flexibly

 

4.) Leadership can be exhibited in many ways

– Different settings might call for different types of leadership

 

5.) Leadership qualities can be developed

– Leadership begins with self-awareness and grows to an understanding of others

 

6.) Leadership is needed to encourage change 

 

These six guidelines are very important to remember when studying leadership.  I encourage you to notice that there is not one set rule for leadership because people view things differently, have different values and communicate differently.  The art of leadership is that leadership qualities can be developed.  In other words, people do not have to be born a leader, they can be molded and taught the right tools to be successful as a leader. 

 

The heart of being a good leader is to understand yourself first.  Essentially, if you do not know what you stand for and believe in, there is no way you can guide other people.  I encourage all of you to try to recognize your core values and beliefs and try to understand where they come from.  By doing this you will start to become more self-aware and understand more of the reason why you do the things you do.

 

I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend and Happy Easter!

 

Living life to the Fulmer,

Allison

Life is made Up of Little Decisions

This Sunday, my pastor said something that really hit home with me.  He said that life is made up of constant small decisions that made a large impact of who we are.  I have to say that I agree with this statement completely. 

 

I believe that God has a plan for all of us, however, I also believe that God gives us the choice to take certain paths.  If you think about it, every day we wake up with a new opportunities to learn, grow, change and choose a path to live our lives.  We wake up with choices and although those choices may be a small, they are the building blocks to what determines our fate. 

 

Most people make small day-to-day choices in order to fulfill a temporary high.  Notice I said the word temporary…. and yes, I mean temporary.  Most of the time temporary highs are suppressing something that we all are trying to deal with.  They are usually EASY CHOICES that we all think we can do that will not have a lasting effect on us.  Well, I am here to tell you that eventually everything that we do shapes who we are and we all need to be weary of these easy choices and temporary highs.  I am not saying that every choice that we make is going to the right one, and I truly believe that we need to make mistakes in order to learn from them.  What I am saying is that as we get older we need to start recognizing that even though something is a small decision, it is going to shape us in one way or another.

 

As I have gotten older, I have started to trust my intuition more and more.  I believe anybody’s intuition comes from learning from past experiences with a little help from God.  When you are faced with another little choice today I encourage you to follow your intuition and choose the next right thing, who knows how it will have an impact on your future.

 

Living Life to the Fulmer,

Allison

Social Media and Crisis Communications

Social media is a great tool to have when dealing with any crisis situation.  A crisis essentially is an unpredicted occurrence that has the potential to ruin a company or brand’s reputation and/or identity.  Most companies have what is called a crisis communication prevention plan.  This is a plan that people within the company have come up with and provides guidelines to follow if a crisis every occurs.  As social media becomes more and more popular, it is essential to understand how to use it properly when dealing with crisis situations.  The most important thing to remember about using social media in a crisis situation is that it is just a tool, it is not something that is going to fix your entire problem. 

Incorporating social media into a crisis communication prevention plan is a great way to ensure affirmative action in times of a crisis.  It is recommended to have an individual or group of social media experts monitoring the different social media sites to ensure complete engagement before, throughout and after the crisis.  By engaging with people, they start to get the feeling that the corporation cares about the public (which they should) and allows the company to give out accurate and constant information.

During a crisis, it is essential to tell the truth, tell it all and tell it quickly. The use of  social media allows the capability to do all of these things.

Here is a YouTube video that I found in which I think everyone should keep in mind about using social media in a crisis situation.

Don’t Just Take… Give

This week I have realized that because of my loyalty and kindness, I have been taken advantage of.  As I have said in other posts, I am usually the girl out of my group of friends that people go to in order to fix a situation or to just vent.  I love helping people and am currently studying leadership, so I am learning how to communicate and listen to people.  If you ask most of my friends, I would be there for them any day, any time.  I have had a great support system from my parents and siblings, that I think reaching out to others just comes natural.  Almost everyone in my family is the same way and that is something that I am very proud of.

So, what happened?! Well, let’s just say that someone basically insinuated that I only cared about myself.  In actuality, I was only trying to help them get out of a hard situation, however, somehow they came to the conclusion that I was only helping them to benefit me.  It is true that when people go through tough times they have a tendency to overreact or be more sensitive than normal.  However, too often than not when we get in tough situations we start playing the pity party game.  If this person would have stepped back and got out of the “its all about me” game then they would have quickly understood my true intentions.

Thinking further about this situation, I noticed that I have always had to be there for them and do things for them when they needed me.  Not once have they helped me with any situation or asked if I ever needed anything.  Now I am usually O.K. with this situation, I am a giver and I like doing it.  But you know, sometimes I need someone to check in on me too. 

I think this scenario is a good learning point for anybody.  When we are in stressful situations do not be quick to accuse a friend of doing something wrong until you have really evaluated the situation.  Take a step back and try to understand why he/she what they did… they are your friend and you should be able to figure out the true intentions behind it.  Also, reality check for everyone… you are not the only one in this world and you are able to reach out to someone just like they have reached out to you.

I challenge you all to ask somebody if there is anything you can do to make their day better.

Living life to the Fulmer,

Allison

The Problem With Wishing

For various reasons this week has given me a lot of opportunities to think about my past and a lot of memories that I had forgotten about.  It is funny how much you forget about things until they are actually brought to your attention.  It is even funnier that we then start to remember exactly why we tried to forget it!  I am sure you have all heard the saying that we never know how much he miss or appreciate something until it is gone.  I also believe that we never realize how big of an idiot we were until we look back on our past and think to ourselves… what was I thinking?!?!

If you all know me at all, and most of my readers do, you know that I believe that everything happens for a reason, good or bad.  I believe that life is what we make of it and it will always be that way.  That is why my friends, I want to tell you the problem with wishing.

As I said before, I have had various instances this week that brought me back to my past.  Whether it be past relationships, experiences or the way my life used to run.  What is my point?!  Well, here it is… I realized that at one point in my life I was trying to wish things to be a certain way.  For example, I wished my boyfriend would act a certain way because then I know we would always be together,  I wished that I was a little bit skinnier, I wish that things could go back to how they used to be because I would be happier.  Yes, that’s right…. I wished and wished and wished.  You see ,while I was busy wishing things to be a certain way, my life was passing me by.  I was continuously living in my past and in most cases a false reality.  In other words, I was not accepting life for what it was and was trying to make it something that it was not.

If you have read any of my other blogs, you would see that I have said how important it is to live YOUR life and not someone else’s.  The same goes with wishing.  Now I am not saying do not wish when you blow out your birthday candles or if you have other superstitions that you do for fun.  What I am saying is leave the past in the past.  Everything happens for a reason and in most cases, those things need to be left in the past for a reason.

If something is not how or what you would like it to be, do not waste your time on wishing it to be any different.  It is time for you to take action and either change it or move on.  There comes a point when we all have to be accountable and that day starts today.  Wishing is not going to change anything… all it is going to do is prolong the process of your growth as an individual.  Work to try to fix something or don’t.  Shit, or get off the pot.

Remember, a definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  Stop wishing and start doing.  If whatever it is needs to be left in the past, appreciate all it taught you and leave it there.  God has provided us with a lot of opportunities, what will you make of them?

What are some things that you wish would change, but do not ever try to do something about?

Living life to the Fulmer,

Allison

 

 

 

 

Another Reason To Stop Smoking

I consider myself lucky because I never had to grow up watching my parents smoke cigarettes.  Now I don’t want to step on any toes here, I completely understand that smoking is a personal choice and I can respect that.  However, I cannot understand why somebody would knowingly do that to their body.  I do understand that to commit to quit smoking is a lot easier said than done, but in this day-in-age we are all aware of the harmful affects it has on us, so why start in the first place?

When I see people my age smoke cigarettes, I absolutely don’t understand why they do it.  Yes, I have many friends that only smoke cigarettes when they have a drink and again, that is their choice.  I guess smoking cigarettes is just like laying in the tanning bed, my generation live more in the now instead of thinking about our future.  We all have the tendency to believe that getting lung cancer would never happen to us, but guess what…. it could. 

Another thing I just don’t understand is why people smoke when they are broke?!?!  Now I will say that I am not aware of exactly how much cigarettes cost to buy, but I can say that I have heard enough of my friends complain about how much they cost.  If you are struggling to make rent or to find money to eat, why not cut back on something that is literally killing you?

Now you might wonder where all of this came from… well, my grandfather died in his mid 60s of lung cancer  and I was thinking about him yesterday.  He had been smoking since a teenager and back in that era, he had no idea that he would only be able to spend time with me for 2 years of my life.  To try to find more information on why to quit smoking, I started looking on YouTube.  I found this video that provides a great visual of what exactly is going in your lungs.

Click here to see another reason to quit smoking

Living life to the Fulmer,

Allison

Social Media: The New Way to Campaign?

Since we are all familiar with how popular social media is getting, why would we be surprised when we see people such as our President of the United States start to use it as a tool to promote himself?  For the President, as well as any future presidential candidate or politician, social media is, “an affordable and immediate way to spread their views.” 

Politicians are taking advantage of the fact that they no longer have to travel across the country and go state-to-state every single day in order to get their message to the public.  Now, they can create YouTube videos, like Obama did when he announced he was running for his second term, create Facebook accounts, and create clever comments using only 140 characters on Twitter.  They are also able to save some of their campaign money for other things besides communicating with the public.

Social media is not only helping politicians spread their campaigning messages, but it is allowing them to let others be their voice.  Through social media politicians can link their information and campaign messages to all different networks.  It also allows other people the opportunity to share their message. Whether it be commenting on a post or retweeting something, by getting other people interacting with their messages, politicians are essentially being publicized for free.

This video gives a little more information on why social media is becoming so popular in campaigns